Wedding planning advice - financial edition
Hi friends! It’s me, 2023 bride and seasoned wedding photographer. I’m not a financial expert by any means, but after being in the wedding industry for a few years, I had a pretty solid game plan for the financial aspects of wedding planning. Throughout my process, I found that a lot of the “resources” were giving really outdated numbers and strategies, so I wanted to give you my advice as both a current bride and wedding vendor.
The Knot is Lying to You.
I used the free resources on The Knot to help plan our wedding (guest list, budget tool, wedding website, and online RSVP), but I was shocked to see their price estimations. In my experience both as a vendor and a bride, the prices were short by about 20% for the DMV area. My advice would be to always do your own research and be sure to tailor it to your geographical region.
Start Early
Before you shrug this off as obvious, I’m actually not talking about payments. As a wedding vendor, I knew that almost every single payment for our wedding would come due at the same time (usually 30 days before your wedding date). And I knew that there was no way I wanted to be worrying about anything extra around that time. I started buying bridal party and parent gifts a year and a half before our wedding. They were completely finished by the time we were a year out. This allowed me to spoil my crew without it interfering with any payments, and meant that for the year leading up to our wedding, my only focus was on saving up for those second payments.
Pro tip: For vendor tips, I set up an account on the Albert app. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s kind of like a separate savings account that you can link to your bank. You can set it up to automatically withdraw from your account at whatever rate/frequency you’d like. I had it pull $15 a week, and it ensured that by time my wedding rolls around, I have tips for our vendors that are safely tucked away and out of sight (so there’s no temptation to spend it!).
Give yourself time.
A big number is much more manageable when you have 18 months to save for it. Cramming tens of thousands of dollars of expenses into four months is enough to make anyone break into a sweat. If you’re planning for a bigger sticker number, a longer engagement might be the key to making it happen. Usually vendors split their payments into roughly halves, with one being due upon booking, and the next being due 30 days prior to your wedding. Knowing you’ve got a year to save up for all those second payments will allow you to sleep a little better at night, trust me.
Question from the community:
How to have a nice wedding for under 100 guests, >20k, not in a park, and not DIY everything?
Hi Friend! So, I want to start by saying that I do believe this is possible, but it’s going to take some careful planning and a bit more research.
First things first, you need to decide what a “nice wedding” looks like to you! This is very different for everyone, and will determine where your priority is. For example, my version of a nice wedding was a pretty, private ceremony, and a backyard BBQ. My fiancé, on the other hand, had an entire vision of a vineyard, open bar, fancy food, and an entire upscale experience. We personally decided what was the most important to each of us, and met in the middle with a vineyard, open bar, and good (but not fancy) food. Once you decide what your vision is, you’ll have a better idea of what you’re okay going without or scaling down.
Now, lets get to the practical advice.
Your biggest expenses will likely be the venue and the food. Typically I see those two items run up at about 40% of total wedding expenses, so mentally prepare for that. But don’t be discouraged!
The easiest fix is catering, which can be decreased by slimming down your guest list. If you’re going into this at under 100 guests, you’re in a great spot. You might have to be ruthless with limiting plus ones, not including kids, or doing the six month rule (if we haven’t spoken to you in six months, you’re not getting invited). You can also shop around for cheaper cuisines. BBQ is delish, a crowd favorite, and tends to be one of the least expensive options. I’ve also seen pizza bars and food trucks, and brunch weddings also usually have cheaper foods.
For the venue, you’re going to need to do some research. In the DMV, most venues run from about 5k+, but there are definitely some venues in a lower price bracket (and are not parks). Almost all venues offer a discount for getting married in the offseason, and some newer venues may be running discounts if you’re one of the first couples to get married there. Again, brunch weddings are usually cheaper, and getting married on an off-day (Thursday or Sunday, usually) can really save you some cash.
I will give you a hefty warning- everything else adds up quickly, but here are my tips:
Forget the favors. Controversial? Maybe. But the truth is that they usually go to waste, and very few people actually end up grabbing them. If you’re going to spend a few hundred dollars on favors, go for something like a photo booth, which is always a crowd favorite.
Go for faux. Florals, that is. They photograph really well, and you can usually barely tell that they’re not real. My biggest piece of advice is to avoid the wood flowers, which bleed all over your hands if you sweat. You can DIY faux florals way easier than real florals, and can either re-purpose them or sell them. The florals in the picture above are fake.
Thrift stores + facebook groups are your friends! There actually are a ton of facebook groups for “brides on a budget” where former brides sell their decor for basically nothing. If you’re flexible and only need a few things, facebook groups are the best place to find them! Thrift stores can also work, but that will be way more time consuming than just hopping on FB. Note: in order to make this work, you need to have an idea of what decor you’re looking for. Try to be as exact as possible, otherwise you’ll end up buying things you may not like, and will end up overpaying.
Amazon has wedding decor! Back when I was doing styled shoots, this was my go-to for altar decor. They sell full altar/aisle pieces with faux flowers, and all you need to do is attach them to whatever you want. 10/10 recommend.
You’re going to see this coming, but put your money towards photo and/or video. It’s the only part of your wedding day that you get to keep, and it lasts forever. IT’S ALWAYS WORTH IT IF YOU PICK SOMEONE YOU LOVE.
If you have a photographer you love, but they’re more than you want to spend, send an inquiry anyway. Tell them exactly what your photo budget is, and tell them that you love their work and would sell a kidney to work with them (you don’t need to be quite that dramatic, but make it clear that you’re only messaging them because you see their work every time you close your eyes). A lot of times, photographers or videographers are willing to - and want to- work with people who are obsessed with their work, and they may be able to work out a deal for you.
Book a good, solid photographer, but ask for less hours. Do a fake exit if you’re dying for exit pictures, and then put a disposable camera on every table and let your guests work for you. They’ll take those great reception photos, and trust me when I say that you won’t be missing anything. Usually photographers can only shoot for about an hour of the reception; after that, people are usually a few drinks in, and those photos are not what you’re looking for.
Know that you can do this however you want. If these tips don’t work for your vision, explore your other options. The most beautiful wedding gallery I’ve ever delivered was a micro wedding with 30 guests, minimal decor, and faux flowers. They booked me for 6 hours, and gave me a full hours for their portraits. They picked a venue that was already beautifully decorated, so they did nothing for the ceremony site, and DIY’d the minimal decor they used inside. It was beautiful, so don’t think you need extravagance.
Other options would be a stunning micro wedding/dinner for just your closest crew, and then an informal party.
Here are some places I wouldn’t recommend skimping:
a DJ. I know it’s tempting to have a friend run the aux cord, but it never goes well. The point of having a wedding is for you and your guests to have fun, and that definitely includes the music. If you’re not into dancing, I’d recommend just skipping it altogether and going for a brunch wedding.
Photography. I know I’m a photographer so I’m obviously biased. But I truly, in my heart of hearts and the depths of my soul, believe that this is worth the money. You keep it forever.
Alterations. Listen, you can find some amazing dresses secondhand or at your local David’s Bridal. And there is absolutely no shame in that game. Usually they’re exactly the same as you’d find elsewhere. But spend the money on good alterations- It can make a $300 dress look like a $3,000 dress. Bad alterations make a $3,000 dress look like a $300 dress. Don’t do it.
Trust me when I say that I completely understand how stressful the financial aspects of wedding planning can be. In full transparency, we blew our original wedding budget in the first month. After that, I knew that I would have to be super strategic, and these tips really did help me save my sanity (and our bank account).
What budgeting tricks did you find helpful?! Was there something you did yourself that made all the difference? Let me know in the comments!
Oh, and happy wedding planning 🙂